Difference between revisions of "Guns and cars"

Revision as of 15:47, 15 March 2013

! WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS STOOPID !

This page contains dangerous concentrations of asshattery and should be read ONLY by persons capable of critical and independent thought. Gun Owners' Resource assumes no responsibility or liability for any brain damage, idiotic behavior, urges to vote for liberals, or other undesirable side effects that may result from failing to recognize that this article contains enough bullshit to fertilize half of Saskatchewan.

Cars form the basis for some of the most popular gun grabber hyperbole. Arguments such as "you need a license for a car, so ..." are used as ideological slight-of-hand to make supporters of gun rights seem unreasonable.

While at first glance these arguments may seem to hold water, they in fact intend to plead to the ignorance of the listener. Any scrutiny beneath the surface of the argument shows this to be true, especially when one takes the time to apply the "logic" both ways.

If they were the same

We will begin by, as gun grabbers are so fond of doing, having firearms and automobiles switch places for a moment, and then move on to deal with each point individually.

Guns like cars

If guns were treated the same as cars (which GOROLE management thinks would be a damn good idea), the following would be true:

1. You would not need a license to purchase a gun.
2. You would not need a license to buy ammunition. (Canada)
3. No court would be able to issue an order, for any reason, which prohibited you from buying more guns.
4. You would not need a license to carry a gun in public.
   • You would however, be required to have a license (and insurance) to discharge your gun in a public place.
     • If you did happen to fire your gun on public property without a license (you naughty gun-nut, you), you'd get a ticket.
5. You would not need to register guns, unless you intended discharge them on public property (see above).
6. There would be no restrictions on your gun's rate of fire.
7. Nor would there be any restrictions on magazine capacity.
8. Self-interested politicians would not be trying to score cheap points by demonizing you in public.
   • On the other hand, MADS (Mothers Against Drunk Shooters) would probably make commercials about you, which might not be particularly a bad idea...
9. Almost every high school would offer a "shooters ed" course.
   • Those taking the course would likely have to wear dorky jackets with "STUDENT SHOOTER" on them.

Cars like guns

On the other hand, if cars were treated like guns, the following would be true:

1. You would be subjected to scrutiny ranging from a criminal record check (in the U.S.) to an intrusive examination of your sex life (In Canada. Seriously — the application for a Canadian firearms license demands that you provide information about your mating habits, in sections C, D, E and F.^[1])
   • If you had ever committed a felony, you would be forbidden from owning a car or even having one in your possession, for the rest of your life. If you were caught in possession of a car, or even living in a home where you had access to a car, you would face years in prison. (U.S.)
   • The same restrictions would apply if you had been dishonourably discharged from the military. (U.S.)
   • If you had a bitter ex-girl/boyfriend, you probably won't be allowed to own a car. (Canada)
2. If you wanted a license to drive your car on public roads, some jurisdictions would demand that you demonstrate a clear need to do so. Even if you could demonstrate that your life may depend on being able to drive on public roads, faceless bureaucrats would still be able to refuse your request based on nothing more than a personal whim, without fear of ever having their decision scrutinized or appealed.
3. Some jurisdictions would put limits on the size of your gas tank.
4. Some jurisdictions would put limits on the type of car you are allowed to own.
5. Some jurisdictions would put limits on how fast your car can go.
6. Some jurisdictions would put limits on what you can/can't do with your car when you're not driving it.

Canada

Due to the particularly befuddling array of Canadian gun laws, there are several issues which are unique to that country:

1. Any car that can go faster than 120 Km/h would be prohibited by an Order in Council (OIC — the Candian equivalent of an Executive Order).
   • Cars that just look like they can go faster than 120 km/h would also be prohibited, by adding them to the list of prohibited vehicles.
   • Persons owning such cars prior to the enactment of the "Automobile Act" would be allowed to keep them, BUT...
     • they would not be allowed to drive them on public roads.
     • they would require a "special authority to drive" in order to take them to a provincially certified track (the ONLY place where you are allowed to drive them).
       • The government, by virtue of a legislative screw-up, would never be permitted to grant the special authority.
2. All coupes, by virtue of being two-doors, would be banned from driving on public roads and would be restricted to use only on provincially regulated tracks.
   • To take your two-door car to the track would require an authorization to transport to the track.
     • You would be required to lock the car, put The Club on the wheel and drain the gas tank before you could haul or tow (NOT drive) your car to the track.
     • You would have to take a designated route to the track. If you deviate at all from the route, even to go around construction, you could face serious criminal charges.
3. If your car had a big gas tank, you would have to replace it or modify it (either way at your own expense) so that it won't hold more liters of gas than the government thinks it should.
4. All your cars would have to be stored in a locked garage.
   • If you don't own a locked garage, you have to drain the fuel tank after arriving home, and lock the doors.
   • You would have to store the gas separately from the car, and in a safe manner. You have to follow the same regimen if you parked at the mall or at work. Fail to do so and you could end up in jail.
5. Failing to get a sticker every year on time would result in serious criminal charges, instead of a fine or a suspended ticket.
6. Any infraction of the Highway Traffic Act (speeding, no turn signal, etc.) would be a serious criminal offence.
7. To get your license in the first place you would, in addition to passing a safe-driving course and exams, provide three references who would vouch for your ability to drive. You would also have to get approval from any former employers.
8. Upon receiving your license, you will be allowed to purchase a car, but not on a Sunday, and sales between individuals, as opposed to businesses, cannot occur on the weekend^[2].
9. If you don't get your license renewal on time, police will show up at your door to demand that you turn over your car for destruction. You could also end up in the hoosegow.
10. If you argue with your spouse, or are going through a divorce, and your spouse makes any claim of criminal action, police will seize your car and destroy it; no court trial required.
11. If you are convicted of any criminal offence &mdash: even putting a penny on a railroad track (Section 456) or having a poker night (Section 201) &mdash: your car would be seized and destroyed.
12. If you violate any of the regulations listed above or committed any criminal offence, you would have all your cars seized and destroyed, and you would be prohibited from owning a car for 10 years.

Licensing

Where's the rest?? This article is incomplete! You (yes, you!) can help Gunsopedia provide more comprehensive information to our users by using your own knowledge to add to it.

The issue of licensing is often used to belittle the arguments of pro-gun rights individuals.

"You need a license to buy a car"

In no jurisdiction (in the western hemisphere, at least) do you need a license to buy a car.

"You need a license to drive a car"

No, you do not. What you need a license for is, to be able to drive a car on public roads. No license is required to operate a motor vehicle on private property.

For example: On a typical family farm in the United States or Canada, sons and daughters are almost universally involved in the chores required to run the farm. This work includes operating motor vehicles, ranging from tractors to pickup trucks and more. This begins not when the child reaches the age of 16 (the minimum age for getting a driver's license), but rather when the child is tall enough to reach the pedals.

Registration

Where's the rest?? This article is incomplete! You (yes, you!) can help Gunsopedia provide more comprehensive information to our users by using your own knowledge to add to it.

Registration is probably the worst, most insidious tactic of gun grabbers. They will endlessly claim, in the face of any and all evidence to the contrary, that it is no threat at all to gun owners. This is a lie.

Every single country in history that has ever registered civilian-owned firearms has seen the records used in confiscations. Just a few examples include:

• Canada — In early 2010, owners of registered Norinco Type 97 rifles and High Standard Model 10B shotguns received notices saying their firearms had been declared prohibited and ordering them to surrender their firearm(s) without compensation or face criminal prosecution.

It must be remembered, above all else, that THE SOLE PURPOSE OF REGISTRATION IS TO PREPARE FOR CONFISCATION. NO EXCEPTIONS, EVER. First they register your guns, then they take them away. Always.

"You have to register your car"

No, you don't. You only need to do so in order to drive the car on public roads.

References

1. ↑ Form CAFC 921: Application for a Possession and Acquisition Licence Under the Firearms Act (For Individuals Aged 18 and Over), RCMP GRC 5592 E-W (2008/05/17), Canadian Firearms Program website.
2. ↑ No, we have no idea why that rule exists.